


To Health, To Long Life, And To Happiness.

by emotionalcello



Series: Do You Love Me? [5]
Category: Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics), Under the Red Hood
Genre: Alfred is a good parent, Angst, Dick just wanted to be a brother, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Jason Todd Needs A Hug, Jason being docile, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-25
Updated: 2018-08-25
Packaged: 2019-07-02 11:11:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15795315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emotionalcello/pseuds/emotionalcello
Summary: The boys (Nightwing and Red Robin) are on a drug bust, and they’re in a tight situation. They reach out for Red Hood and receive no call back. Later on, Nightwing look for him to find Jason in his safe house, in a murky pink apron, making himself a full course dinner.A late birthday celebration fic for my angsty angery baby Jason motherfukinnn Thunder Thigh Todd.note : not beta-ed, probably some grammar error, cheeseey, probably ooc (you think me being obsessed with Jason Todd is gonna make me see the character accurate, HA ye wrong... *cry).





	To Health, To Long Life, And To Happiness.

 

 

Bad nights happen in vigilante life. One of those nights is currently happening to Nightwing, even when Red Robin came in to help. They’re making a drug bust at the docks before they could be shipped to Bludhaven. Hence why Nightwing is in Gotham, and Red Robin chipping in to help. Robin is on the other part of the city with Batman.

 

Things went south quick, with Batman and Robin got their hands full, they thought Red Hood might be in the city. He’s not answering his call at all.

 

In the end, they pull through, not without a couple stitches though, some more gnarly than others.

 

“Where the hell was Jason? I thought he’s supposed to be in the city.”

 

“Told you we don’t need him.” Tim spat blood from his mouth. It was dark but Nightwing could see the shade of red on his prepubescent face, it’s gonna be ugly blue in the morning.

 

They hopped off from Nightwing’s motorcycle, and Tim yanked away his mask and look for the medic kit.

 

“Maybe he’s out of town.” Dick answered, following right behind and mask already off.

 

“Maybe he’s dead.”

 

Dick gives him a disapproving look, and Tim shrugged.

 

“It’s possible, all of us have a very high chance of--”

 

“Stop Tim, let me patch you up.”

 

Dick patted the padded stool in front of him after sitting in one himself. Tim, being Tim, chatted up about their drug bust, and giving theories about where could Jason be to tone down the pain. Since that incident with Jason shooting Penguin dead, and Bruce beating him to a pulp, topics about Jason has become sensitive. Tim rather not interfere, but Dick, when he hears the news, was not surprised.

 

He asked Bruce why Jason did it, and he couldn’t answer. The way reality hits Bruce that he just blindly beat his ‘son’ without hearing his reason, Dick still remembers it, and still not surprised. Bruce can say anything about Jason, how he loved them all the same, but Dick knew Bruce never genuinely see Jason that way. Not anymore.

 

Dick tried to let his mind wander that far, not when he has an open wound in his hand. Tim has been talking and Dick was not paying attention. They chatted up that night, talking about what to get Alfred for his birthday.

 

Though Dick couldn’t shake away the bad feeling about Jason. Where was he? Is he there at all? Somehow the probability of Jason being dead is not that unbelievable. It left him restless, he has to know, and Dick decides he needs to check up on him.

 

 

+++++++++++

 

 

Dick knows about Jason’s place from Roy, and he did not expect to see Jason this way. In a murky pink frilly apron, marinating a whole chicken.

 

“What you want Dick?” Jason said when Dick enters his safe house, not looking up from the chicken and his hand kept brushing the sauce on to the chicken’s skin.

 

“You know I was coming?”

 

“From Roy, the only reason he told you is that I told him it’s okay.”

 

Jason put the chicken in the oven, and then he finally looks back at Dick.

 

“What is it?” Jason asks again when Dick was doing nothing but stare. How could he not? Jason is alive and well, doing some domestic stuff here in Bludhaven and Dick didn’t know he was in his city.

 

“I just… um, wanted to check up on you?” Jason raised an eyebrow, and Dick groans, “Honest Jason, I was worried. Tim and I were busting a drug dealer, it got out of hand, we tried to get you to help us, thinking maybe you’re still in town. But you didn’t respond, and I…” Dick takes in a deep breath, and shrug, “…I got worried.”

 

The air hangs silently, they got their eyes on each other but said nothing. Jason has his arms crossed, face as stoic as ever, and Dick didn’t know what to expect. In the end, his younger brother just shrugged and turned around to the cabinets to reach some flours.

 

“This drug bust, is it from The White snake cartel?” Jason asked.

 

“Yeah.”

 

“You got him?”

 

“Already locked up.”

 

Then Jason hums, hands on the kitchen’s island with mouth twist up thoughtfully.

 

“He was my target too.” Jason admits, “He’s about to ship that to Bludhaven, hence why I’m here. I was about to bust him when the shipment arrived and sits there, lower security, easier to take down, and I was about to tell one of you Bat cult about his position in Gotham while I take it down.”

 

“Oh.” Dick gapes, “You’re not mad?”

 

Jason raised an eyebrow again, “For what?”

 

“Us taking your targets.”

 

“If you let him go I will, but you capture the head, so…” Jason shrugs at it, “I’m not mad, but I am surprised that you’re here at all.”

 

“For checking up on you?” Dick squints his eyes as he addresses the ridiculous point.

 

Jason shrugged, “You never cared before, why care now?”

 

“It’s not that we never care—”

 

“If that’s how you’re starting then forget it, question retracted.”

 

“No, you need to hear this.” Dick noticed Jason rolling his eyes but he’s gonna ignore that. “I’m sorry I didn’t do anything when Bruce beat you up.”

 

“Aaaand stop, we’re not going there. Ever. I’m sick aready.” Jason hissed.

 

“Jason…”

 

“Don’t you ‘Jason’ me, you didn’t have to do anything, and I’m not surprised he beats me up. I’m fine, if that’s what you wanted to--”

 

“God! Jason, listen to me!” Dick raised his voice, and Jason shuts his lips, “I’m sorry! I thought you’re still mad at me, mad at us after what Bruce did. When you didn’t answer my call I got worried. I didn’t want you to die thinking we all hate you.”

 

Jason cocks an eyebrow, “Die?”

 

Dick gasped, “Uh… Just, Tim saying that’s a probability, this isn’t the safest gig after all.” Dick chuckled awkwardly.

 

Jason seems to be in thought, eyes on the table in front of him, pressing his lips into a thin line before finally opening them, “He’s right though.”

 

Not even Dick could say otherwise, this path they walk on, it either ended in dying young, or long life with some scars that never heals. Jason couldn’t understand why it’s a problem for Dick, like he didn’t accept his fate like Jason did.

 

Jason clicks his tongue, sighing frustratingly, “What do you want from me Dick?”

 

Air stuck in his throat, and it felt heavy to breathe, Dick didn’t know how to answer that, or even answer his own question, why is he here?

 

“Your forgiveness?” Dick said, unsure.

 

“I forgive you.” Jason deadpanned, “Now get out of my life.”

 

Dick winced at the unbothered tone, “That’s not what I want.”

 

“I thought you said what you want is my forgiveness and I already give that to you, Dick.” Jason hissed.

 

“But not to get out of your life, now that you forgive me and know that you’re not angry, I’d like us to… you know… hang out more.”

 

Jason visibly cringed, “I’m not part of your cult, your daddy disowns me, we aren’t exactly friends now.” Jason sneers and Dick winced at the word ‘Daddy’, curse the internet for sexualizing that word.

 

“Bruce doesn’t speak for me Jay, what he did is awful, but that’s him, not me.”

 

And silence fell again. Jason pinched the bridge of his nose, and sighed yet again. Slowly but surely, it’s noticeable how Jason’s hard face melts as he lightly twitch a smile.

 

“You wanna hang now?” Jason asked, and squint his eyes when Dick’s face beams.

 

“Yeah! Totally!”

 

“You can help me with cooking if you want.”

 

“Nice, this is a lot of food though, what’s it for?”

 

“I got a date coming.”

 

That felt like his heart fell to his stomach, and it’s too late for Dick to catch it, “Oh…”

 

“What? You think I can’t land myself a date?”

 

“No no, just didn’t think you’re a ‘date’ kinda guy.”

 

“Well, there’s a lot you didn’t know about me.”

 

Don’t Dick knows it… but he’s gonna fix that. Though now, making meals for his date tore up new wounds he’d rather not say… or admits.

 

 

+++++++++

 

 

Dick swore to himself that he’ll bury this secret till his death. It’s shameless that Dick is jealous over Jason’s date, he just wanted to know Jason’s type. In another word, just being his nosy self.

 

Over the building across Jason’s apartment/safehouse, he peeked through the window with a binocular that he stole from Bruce. Jason laid the table beautifully, the bread he helps made is sitting on a plate right beside the chicken. He looked over the table and smiled when he’s satisfied with the arrangement. Dick smiled as well, whoever this person is, it seems to make Jason happy.

 

Dick had a few guesses as who Jason’s date might be, but there’s a chance that they’re not from the hero community at all.

 

Jason whipped his head up to the door, and hurried to open them, seems like the doorbell rings.

 

The door opens and…

 

Alfred?

 

 

+++++++++++++

 

 

“I must say that you exceed my expectations, you set a wonderful dinner, Jason.” Alfred compliments, and Jason can never get enough of that.

 

“It’s nothing.” Jason shrugged, “I got help, from Dick.” Jason pulled a chair for Alfred to sit down, and Alfred would’ve nodded gratefully if it’s not for Jason’s word.

 

“Master Dick found you?”

 

“I let him,” Jason said as he goes over to the counter to get one last thing for the table, “He said he’s checking up on me. I’m just as surprised as you, never thought any of them wanted anything more to do with me.”

 

Jason put the cake Alfred brought in the middle of the table, ‘Happy birthday Jason & Alfred’ is written with a red frosting over the plain white cake. Red velvet cake, just what Jason requested.

 

“Master Dick has always been worried, he thought you needed space, so that’s what he gave.” Alfred informed, getting the candles from the pockets inside his sweater jacket, “Master Dick expresses his anger and discomfort when he knows about your gruesome fight with Master Bruce.”

 

“Really? He’s angry for me?” Jason casually asked, not really convinced at Alfred’s information.

 

“Yes, believe it or not, he did.”

 

“I just don’t get it, that’s all. I’m not in the family, I was ready to lose all of you, but here you are, and here’s Dick too.” Jason mumbled, genuinely confused, “He told me he wanted to hang out with me.”

 

Alfred beams as he smiled, “Isn’t that wonderful?”

 

Jason shrugs, “I won’t call it that, I don’t want to interfere more with Bruce and his little children.”

 

Alfred sticks a ‘2’ and ‘1’ candle on the left, and a ‘6’ and a ‘0’ on the right. Jason’s 21st and Alfred’s 60th birthday. Jason got a lighter from his pockets and light them up.

 

“I understand that your heart is broken by what Master Bruce said and done, but please don’t hold Master Dick against that.”

 

“I didn’t, I just thought he’ll side with Bruce, just how I thought you’ll be.”

 

“Yet here I am, don’t I?” Alfred amusingly remarked, “Family doesn’t take sides over matters like these, especially the nature of our family.”

 

Jason just huffed, arms crossed and eyes on the tiles of his floor. The words went over his head, or more like, he tried to let the words not hit him where it hurts.

 

“Jason.” Alfred put his hand on top of Jason’s and he finally looks up from the tiles to Alfred’s kind eyes, “Master Dick loves him like a father, much like how I love him like my own son, but you must understand that doesn’t mean we will cast you away because of it. Master Bruce is not perfect, of course he has done wrong, unforgivable mistakes, but we still love him for the same reason I could still love you Jason.”

 

He lets the mushy words sink in, Jason curled his lips thoughtfully, holding back Alfred’s hand. He’s so grateful that at least Alfred is still in his life.

 

“Thanks Alfred.”

 

The old man smiles, “You’re welcome, now let’s blow the candles before our dinner is cold.”

 

With their hands still on each other, they did their tradition (Alfred’s idea) to say their wish for each other before they blow their candles. And every time, Jason has only one wish for Alfred.

 

‘ _I wish you outlive me Alf._ ’

 

It’s depressing, emo, and sappy, Jason admits all of that, but it’s what he truly wishes for Alfred. He may not have everyone from his ‘old’ family, but at least he got Alfred. Bruce, the one that saves him, now resents him and literally tore the bat symbol off his chest. If that’s not a dramatic symbolism he doesn’t know what is. The rest of the family barely knew him too, and now Dick… he held no hope against him.

 

And friends come and go, Jason understands that, but Alfred, despite taking care of the manor and have his own life, always have time for Jason, and he got mad respect and love for the old man.

 

They blew the candle and save the cake for dessert.

 

“Hmmm,” Alfred is chewing the marinated chicken, and Jason, as much as he didn’t want to, is nervous about Alfred’s reaction for it. “Tender flesh, crisp skin, seasoning seeps through till the bone, my my Jason… I’m impressed”

 

 _Holy fucking shit yes!_ “I knew it, I inherit your cooking skills.” Jason shrugged like it’s nothing and popped a slice down on his mouth as well.

 

“Would you still like to hear the updates on the manor?” Alfred asked.

 

They usually gossip about Bruce, and everyone on the manor and everyone with the Bat-brand, but since the ‘Penguin incident’ Jason doesn’t have the humor anymore, and it seems that Alfred picked up on that.

 

“No, don’t care anymore.”

 

Alfred’s hand reaches out for Jason’s, and he gave the Alfred what he wanted. He could hear the old man sigh so depressingly as his eyes meet Jason with a fondness he missed. It made the silence bearable, he could tell that Alfred is looking for the right words.

 

“Will you forgive what Master Bruce did?” Alfred asked, slowly with such an unfair frail voice.

 

And Jason has an absolute answer for that, “I always forgive him Alfred,” Jason could feel his walls crumbling down, and he always lets himself do that, at least once a year, for Alfred’s eyes only. He lets himself be weak, for his sanity sake.

 

“The question you’re looking for is whether or not he forgives me.”

 

Alfred looked appalled, “Of course he does.”

 

Jason shook his head, “You can’t turn your eyes blindly for this one Alfred, he never forgives me.” He held tight onto Alfred’s hand, “And no I don’t regret the things I did, but if it was Dick he would never…”

 

Jason felt the air stuck on his throat and he gulps, “I don’t care what he said in front of you, or to anyone, or what you think you saw of him. I was there, looking at him in the eye… I lost him.”

 

With a clenched jaw, Jason ducks his head. Lips pressed together to stops the trembling. The chair across of him made a sound when Alfred stood up, but his hand never let Jason’s go. Alfred tucked Jason’s head to his chest.

 

“Oh, child…” Alfred exhaled the words that came out shaking, “… it’s going to be okay, I’m here.”

 

Jason nods, hands clutching on the back of Alfred’s shirt, he let a tear slides away but that’s it. He exhales appreciatively when Alfred patter his head, Jason forgot how good that felt. At least he always got Alfred, at least he got him.

 

They ate their birthday dinner with no more waterworks, surprisingly easy to find other topics than their usual bat-family gossips. Jason asked about Alfred’s birthday celebration in the manor and the presents he gets. Alfred always insists that they celebrate on the exact date of 16th August, but Jason doesn’t mind celebrating it a few days after. It’ll let them celebrate with Alfred, and then Jason can take his time after.

 

They’re eating their cake and play a guessing game where Jason guess how exactly Alfred made the cake, then it got interrupted by the sound of his doorbell.

 

Alfred froze, “Are you expecting someone?”

 

“No, I didn’t expect him to come at all.” Jason remarked, groaning in the middle of the sentence.

 

Jason opened the door knowing who it is, but not the state of the person. Messy black hair, and gasping breath, Dick held a crumpled brown bag against his chest.

 

“Why look who’s here.” Jason sneers, “The view from the window is not enough?”

 

Dick’s eyes widen, “I…” then realization hits him, “You got a tracker on me.”

 

“Your bike.” Jason nods to the side, “Now, can I help you?”

 

“I’m sorry I forgot your birthday, completely forgot that you have the same one as Alfred’s” Dick said almost immediately.

 

Dick extended the hand clutching onto the brown bag to Jason, “Here, your present.”

 

Jason replies with a squint of his eyes, “I don’t need your pity gift.”

 

“No no I’ve been wanting to give this to you for ages, and I tried to get this as fast as I can.”

 

His hand still holding on to the crumpled bag, and with a defeated sigh, Jason finally grabs onto it. The thing inside is hard and square, but Jason could see into it next time, or never, he doesn’t care what Dick’s trying to do, but it is interesting…

 

“So uh… bye?” Dick stepped back.

 

Jason rolled his eyes, “Come in.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“You gave me a gift, you haven’t tried to kill me. Just come in and grab a slice of cake. It’s Alfred’s” and with that last sentence, Dick barged into the room, finding Alfred in the kitchen, pouring 3 glass of wine.

 

“Good to see you join us Master Dick, please sit down.” Alfred patted the third chair on the table that appeared out of nowhere, Jason smiled at Alfred knowingly.

 

“Eat if you haven’t eaten yet, cake if you have.” Jason said as Dick sits down, joining him the second after.

 

Dick was flabbergasted the moment he steps in, eyeing the table, the wine, the cake, and Alfred dressing out of his butler get-up. His lips parted as close, eyeing Jason confusingly, and Jason just sits there already with a cake in his mouth, waiting for Dick to ask.

 

“How long have you guys had this secret party?” Dick finally asked.

 

“3 years.” Jason casually informed.

 

“Ah yes, it was me that found his safe house with a cake, and he was surprisingly very welcoming.”

 

Jason eyed Alfred knowingly, where the old man just smiled. ‘Surprisingly very welcoming’ is Jason holding a gun against Alfred’s head when he triggers the alarm of his safe house. Jason was injured, and too lazy to cook and forgot that it was his birthday, and Alfred stood there with food and cake, alone with no weapon. And _that_ was the _real_ start of everything.

 

But Dick doesn’t need to know that.

 

Alfred sits down with 3 glass of wine on his hand.

 

Dick sliced himself a piece of cake but reach out to the wine glass first.

 

“We need to make a toast, right?” Dick chimed, face gleefully smiling.

 

“Of course, we’re not savages.” And that surprisingly came from Jason.

 

They raised their glass, “To your health!” Dick said to the both of them.

 

“To long life.” Jason said to Alfred.

 

“And to happiness.” Alfred said, and the softness of his eyes touched Jason to the core.

 

_‘Clink’_

 

 

++++++++++

 

 

Dick is as chatty as ever. Never runs out of topic, never stepping on a nerve, and it felt like his smile was stapled there on his pretty face. Jason admits, it’s fun having Dick back, he forgot what a firecracker he could be. That’s what he tried to do, forget, but here he is, all smiles and happy. Jason didn’t know if Dick is sticking around for the long run, but Jason won’t stop him if he stays or walks away.

 

For the first time in a long while, Jason laughed, and see Alfred laugh. It’s a fun night. Played some board games, told some jokes, share a little gossips.

 

The night lulled in, and the ‘party’ closed with them binge watching Brooklyn Nine Nine. Alfred is staying over, and he lets Dick stay whenever he wants. Jason went back to his room in an excuse to tidy up his bed for Alfred, and if the man was woken up he would insist on sleeping on the couch. Dick shooed Jason silently to the bedroom, staying as still as possible so as not to wake up Alfred that slept so soundly.

 

It was a lie obviously, Jason’s room is already as tidy as Alfred’s would approve. He’s here to open Dick’s gift, so he could react ‘properly’ while he’s still in here.

 

Jason pulled the square out of the brown bag, it was a framed picture of him and Dick, back when he was still Robin. His hands around the frame clenched tight, unsure what to feel. But first, bug check.

 

Taking off the frame from the back, Jason expected a bug, a camera, but he didn’t expect… more pictures, and there are notes written in the back.

 

_‘Stakeout!’_

_‘Crashing party!’_

_‘So proud of my descendant <3’_

_‘He’s back!’_

_‘Why is he growing so quick…’_

 

The words are comical and so were the pictures, it was taken briefly and in a flash. Jason remembers being pulled by the neck and Dick snapped his phone for a picture before Jason could say no, and that happens often. Jason didn’t think Dick would print it, and they all didn’t feel new. The one on the top, was tinted yellow, looking as old as the words written behind it.

 

This is touching and all, but why give this to him?

 

“Hey.”

 

Jason whipped his head to the source of the sound and found Dick with the asleep Alfred on his arms. Jason quickly steps away from his bed, taking all the pictures away with him.

 

“Sorry, his neck was bending a bit dangerously, I thought I’ll put him to bed now.” Dick said as he laid Alfred down and tuck him in under the blanket.

 

Dick turned around to see Jason leaning against the cupboard, completely surprised when there are a few pictures in his hand.

 

“Oh, uh… that’s more picture than I imagined.”

 

“You didn’t know it was here?”

 

“No.”

 

“You want them back?”

 

Dick looked thoughtful, “No, it’s yours, I’m not gonna snatch back your gift.”

 

He said that, but Dick make grabby hands on the pictures, and Jason gave them. Dick looked at the picture with fond eyes, and then those eyes directed to Jason.

 

“I’ve missed you Jay.” The way his voice sounds as smooth as butter made Jason weak.

 

‘ _I missed you too_.’ But Jason didn’t say it, not knowing if he meant it.

 

Did he miss him? Or did he missed the days with him before shit hits the fan. Before Jason have blood on his hand, before they treated him like some kind of sin.

 

Jason took the pictures from Dick’s hand, putting them back to the frame. He made a waving gesture to make Dick follows him outside, just to not disturb Alfred.

 

“You want to stick around?” Jason said after they stepped outside.

 

Dick blinks when Jason suddenly asked, “Yeah man, got some beer?”

 

“That’s not what I meant.” Jason turned around to face Dick, “I meant stick around me.”

 

Dick gapes, “Of course I want to… I always do, I just thought you needed time alone from us, all this time… but now when I know Alfred is meeting you…”

 

Jason sighed, arms crossed on top of his chest, in contemplation whether or not he regrets ever letting everyone in. Now he has to deal with this, Dick’s sloppy way to try to wiggle his way to Jason’s life. It’s not that Jason doesn’t want that…

 

“I don’t want that.” Jason whispered, but loud enough for Dick to pick up on that.

 

“What?”

 

“Time alone.” Jason cleared, “Have enough of alone… so if you wanna—ouff--”

 

Jason’s speech was cut short by none other than a crushing hug from Dick. Arms around his shoulder, face buried in the crook of his neck. The familiar scent and the warmth that engulf him, Jason sighed against the skin in front of his lips. Closing his eyes, he tried to fight the smile that threatened to show. Dick doesn’t have to tiptoe to hug Jason like Alfred did, for once Jason doesn’t feel like a giant.

 

He doesn’t want to stop, and he didn’t know if it’s because he didn’t let go, but Dick didn’t let go either.

 

“Promise me Jason.” Dick said, still hanging onto Jason.

 

“What?”

 

“Invite me to your birthday party too.”

 

Jason hums thoughtfully. The only reason he invites Alfred is that they have the same birthdate. Why would Dick wanted to be on his birthday? Is there a reason for him to come at all? Why does Dick want to come anyway? Probably for Alfred’s cooking, which is understandable. Jason scoffed, if once a year could be this fun,what about two?

 

“Only if you allow me to celebrate yours.” Jason finally comes to a conclusion, and immediately regrets it when Dick’s arms tightening even more, and a shriek that came after.

 

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH YES! I would love to!” Dick has his claws on Jason’s shoulder, yanking him back and forth, while Jason just mesmerized by how wide Dick could smile.

 

Then it came so suddenly, the kiss on his face. More like pecks, Dick is giving him multiple sloppy kisses all over his face, like a granny kissing their cute chubby grandchildren’s face. But Jason is not chubby, and definitely not a grandchild of anyone, but Jason froze, letting himself take all the domestic/aggressive kisses, and with Dick’s clawing hands in on Jason's face, he can’t deflect the entire round of the machine gun kisses.

 

With one last wet kiss on his temple, Dick finally pulls away and smiles, ruffling Jason’s hair into a bird’s nest and giggle, which adds another minute of Jason’s frozen state.

 

“So, I gotta go back, late for patrol.” Dick takes a few steps back, “I see you soon?” Dick said with a smile, to a struggling stoic Jason.

 

“Sure.”

 

Dick gave Jason another ruffle on the head, “Thanks Jason.” Yet Jason didn’t know why he thank him.

 

“ _Isn’t it the other way around Dickie?_ ” but the sky would fall first before Jason says those words.

 

So, Jason just replies with a wave of a hand when Dick disappears behind the door. And when the door close, tension melts away from Jason’s body, finally able to breathe again.

 

With a huff, Jason retreats to his bedroom, sitting on the edge of his bed where Alfred sleeps.

 

Palms on his sides, and eyes on Alfred sleeping face, but… “I know you’re not asleep Alf.”

 

Alfred pops open his eyes, giving Jason a crooked smile, and Jason rolled his eyes, “You heard that, didn’t you?”

 

“It’s not my fault you didn’t close the door.” Alfred encountered.

 

Alfred scooted to the side and patted the space beside him for Jason. Just like every year, Alfred slept over, and Jason would curl beside him, just like this.

 

“So… Dick kissed me.” Jason started.

 

“Yes, it was terrifying.”

 

Jason scoffed, “You knowing that makes it worse.”

 

“Just when I thought Master Dick finally notice your burning passionate lo-”

 

“Alfred.” Jason interrupted, and sighed, “I don’t care about that anymore.”

 

“Care about what Jason?”

 

“About Dick, if by some fucked up fate he’s supposed to be mine then I’ll grovel and be grateful, but if he doesn’t want me, then it’s fine.” Jason clutched onto Alfred’s sleeve, pressing his face against Alfred’s shoulder.

 

Jason opened his lips, no voice coming out of it, but Alfred is patient, so he’ll wait. His smaller arm wrapped around Jason’s bulky shoulder. Alfred leaned his face on top of Jason’s coarse hair and sighed. Only at times like this, the Jason that his Master Bruce treated as if a monster of his own making, seems so small.

 

A monster and a killer he may seem, or he may _be_ , but Jason is a teenager, just turned 21, hungry for approval, still a child in Alfred’s eyes. Yes, he makes mistakes that cost lives, but they all do, all of those heroes and even the one that bears the bat symbol on their chest, they all are not a tiny bit more perfect or dignified than Jason. If only they could see…

 

“Alfred?” Jason called, and Alfred replied with a tired hum, “I’m cool if all I get is you.”

 

Jason’s voice came out in a whisper, yet enough to make Alfred widen his eyes. The old man smiled against Jason’s head.

 

“Thank you Jason.”

 

And Jason just smiled, fighting the heat that creeps up to his face.

 

His birthdays have been fun, but today was the best yet. Jason opened his eyes, and his vision ended at the framed picture on the nightstand beside Alfred. Dick had his arms around Jason, smiling as wide as he is. Seeing his much younger self, smiling so wide that his lips seem it’s going to rip.

 

Jason remembered why he was so happy that day, and his eyes wander to the hand on his tiny shoulder. A painful smile flashed across his face, knowing that he’s not that child anymore, and Dick will never be his brother like back then.

 

A memory to be visited but could never be repeated. It reminds him that he was lucky, lucky to be alive, lucky to have them in his memories.

 

With that thought in mind and Alfred rubbing soothing circles on his shoulder, Jason fell asleep a little easier that night.

 

 

++++

**Author's Note:**

> I planned to make it under 2k words, smh should’ve known better lol.  
> It might be late but… Happy birthday my angsty, gun-wielding, T H U N D E R Thightm, sweet and deadly muse Jason Todd, Red Hood, and Robin.  
> With that I wish to God(DC Writers) to make him happy (dammit).  
> This might be OOC and a bit cringey but this is just me being self-indulgent and pouring my love for Jason. And pouring love for your character or to anyone is always valid as long as you don’t spread hate ‘for the sake of defending them’, thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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> [find me on me tumblr!](https://emotionalcello-makefanfics.tumblr.com/)


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